4our and 4ourty

sunday morning.

I had a long day and not an easy one. Today I went through a difficult moment, I had the feeling that I am that kind of an actor that I normally judge. The kind that waists film and patience. It wasn’t a big deal, a detail, a short scene, but I was under the impression that my lack of concentration concerning my own womanhood determined a kind of emotional block that prevented me to react as tudor wanted. I only wanted it to be finished. At the end everything turned out as he wanted, I hope. Or maybe the change of the reels got him frightened. And me at the same time… at a certain moment I had an inhibition. Guilt and frustration.
Today’s day, although tiring, brought me THOSE satisfactions. The exhausting air that accompanies me home runs along with the feeling that I am doing what I have to do.
Mmm … it is going slow. I’m chatting in parallel with a friend on msn and it seems harder to get a grip of myself. Maybe I’ll write more tomorrow.

Dream. Of course. Like every night. This has led to a joke on the set. I dreamt that papadopol was beating me. Awful. He as in Chirila’s place and giurgiu was over protective with him. He looked at me doubtfully although I was stunned because he acted like he was nuts. I was crying and this is a good thing. Dreaming of tears brings happiness.
So it shall be. hehehe …

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